Sunday, October 31, 2004

Superficiality alert - a piece about Elton John

Sir Elton,
Why are you apologizing for your "tantrums"?

You were right! The Taiwanese photographers were being rude and vile and piggish. It is an outrage when "artists" charge sky-high admission prices for a "live" show and then resort to lipsynching.

Sir Elton, you are a true artist, both musically and in real life. Art must reflect truth. You have earned the right to tell it like it is.

Udderly mindboggling

For years, I've been wanting to attend The Royal Winter Fair in Toronto. In a few weeks, we'll finally make the trip. I had not realized how big of a deal The Royal has become. Like so many other contests involving beauty and skill, the competition for best holstein is tight, and great efforts are being made to keep the competition clean.

Howard Dobson, a veterinary radiologist and professor in the department of clinical studies at the University of Guelph's Ontario Veterinary College, is heading the Royal's ultrasound-screening program for the fourth year. He won't say whether he has caught cheaters, but admits that udder adulteration, as he calls it, is "a worldwide problem."

"It's like with doping in athletes," says Dobson, adding that he reports his findings only to the show staff. What they do as to publicity or punishment is up to them.

The Bessies of The Royal seem to enjoy their spa treatment. Trimming, fluffing, powdering, oiling .. makes for pretty cows. Brennan believes even the cows know they look good. "They get your attention, they are even more beautiful to look at. They're walking with grace and poise," he says. "They want to be there and show their stuff."

Suddenly I feel dowdy.

Monday, October 25, 2004

My brother's blog ..

.. is better than mine. Check it out!

Okay, I know that no-one actually reads my blog .. except perhaps my brother.

CBC News: Americans offered anti-flu cruise

There's always a dollar to be made, isn't there? Let's hope that the suckers customers don't catch that pesky Norwalk Virus on this anti-flu cruise

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I have an idea ..

How about Laura Bush for President?
The first lady showed class, grace, and breeding in response to Teresa Heinz Kerry's gaffe du jour.

Mrs. Bush even went as far to say that no apology was needed, as she understood how tough it is.

Golly! Is Laura Canadian? She'd make a good one!

Strange things on my lawn

On this cold and dreary Thursday morning, I looked out on the lawn and saw a bunch of white stuff stewn about. Hmm, what could that be? I traipsed out and retrieved the detritus, which turned out to be one of those binders with all the pockets and a zipper, and its contents. Kind and caring person that I am (no, really!) I carefully sorted through the soggy mess to see if I could identify and notify its rightful owner.

I did not find anything which pinpointed the ownership, but I did find a fascinating 4 page email.

I skimmed through the missive, which was addressed to a "Kelli". The email discussed, at great length, the writer's emotions regarding their relationship and certain events therein. I marvelled at the writer's skills of articulation and of expressing and explaining emotions. I thought, "Wow! This is one sensitive, in-tune guy! And his spelling, grammar, and punctuation are excellent!".

Then I got to the last page.

It was signed,

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

What would a gay wedding be if not fabulous??

'Tis true that we no longer have a TV. (Two months now, going very well, thanks for asking.) I was still intrigued by
this story.

The one, the only, the fabulous Scott Thompson will be hosting My Fabulous Gay Wedding. Yes, yes, it's another fresh and innovative spin on the same old thing.

The first wedding does sound fabulous, of course:

Basking in the sunlight in their designer tuxedos, Bromm and McKeen appear to be a good catch for the cameras. Here, the photogenic pair exchange vows by Toronto Harbour, after arriving by separate sail boats. The dock is adorned with flowers where a jazz singer croons and a United Church minister says a few inspiring words before declaring them legally married. Aside from the minister having to duck under a boom microphone, it all seems to be a fairly straightforward event. But what makes the entire affair a little surreal is that it's being hosted by Scott Thompson, from Kids in the Hall. The irreverent comedian guides the couple through the preparations in the weeks leading up to the big day.

My, my, my. What would Buddy Coleman think of all this?

I'm "Athletic Girl"

This is probably a pretty accurate description of me. Swap out a Saturn station wagon for the Jeep, and a Specialized for the Trek, and this is me.
Well, I'm sure I do have abs of death somewhere in there .. surrounded by a protective cushion of pooch. Hey, you try fitting an 8 lb baby into the uterus of a 4'11" woman, and see if things don't sag a bit after a c-section!!

Cooking to Hook Up: The Bachelor's Date-Night Cookbook: "


Sunday, October 17, 2004

Christopher Reeve

For the past week, I have been contemplating the meaning of the life and death of Christopher Reeve. Words are just that - mere words - and I cannot find the right combination to pay proper tribute to this man.

Margaret Cho has written a beautiful piece about his life and legacy. It's worth a read.

Perhaps it is most fitting, however, that the best tributes to the man who breathed life into the comic book hero, are found in last week's editorial cartoons.

Don't forget the sunscreen

Offered without comment: Nude cruises sail Down Under.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

At last! A headline that tells the truth!

Check out MTV's take on Jon Stewart's appearance on Crossfire.

If ever anyone needed a good b***hslapping, it was Tucker Carlson. Go Jon!!!

School lunch rant

Apparently, the crise du jour in NYC schools involves a food delivery problem. The practical upshoot is that the kids aren't receiving that wonderful lunchtime nutrition. One principal has sent a letter to parents, suggesting that they start sending box lunches in with their kids.

It is on this very topic that your resident border straggling blogger becomes quite confused. According to Bill O'Reilly and his ilk, (and oh, internet, how I am biting my tongue about his current woes) Canada is an evil socialist nanny state. However, it is on this side of the border that parents can abdicate the responsibility of feeding their children, and can foist it off on the state.

Now, my little socialist self would embrace such a belevolent gesture, if I had not witnessed what passes for a "nutritious" breakfast or lunch at our (otherwise fine) local primary school.

Sorry folks, but breaded, deepfried popcorn shrimp IS NOT FOOD. Broccoli that is limp and brown no longer offers any nutritional benefit.

And school breakfasts .. there's a great social experiment. It must be funded by the makers of Ritalin. Let's see what happens when we put little boys on a bus for 45 minutes, when the school is only 2 miles away. Then let's give them Pop-Tarts (the really brightly coloured ones, with sprinkles too!) and juice and chocolate milk. Now let's tell their parents that these little boys need Ritalin because they are disruptive, and unable to sit still for the next three hours. I maintain that root beer and a multivitamin would provide an equally nutritious start to the day.

Thanks, but this product of the socialist nanny state prefers to provide a decent breakfast and lunch for her child. Call me crazy.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Take that, you infidels!!!!

Rumour has it that Martha Stewart will write a book about her experience in prison. This is a Good Thing. According to the CNN article, such a book deal would be worth about five million dollars.

I am looking forward to the second printing of this tome - the one which chronicles her exoneration and vindication.

Those who perpetrated the Kafka-esque witch hunt will be receive a life sentence of NEVER HAVING A SOUFFLE RISE AGAIN.

In other news, the latest issue of Martha Stewart Living arrived today. As always, it is a thing of beauty. Stay strong, Martha!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Tough call .. not!

A Wisconsin pharmacist is facing the loss of his license because he refused to fill an 18 year old college student's prescription for birth control pills. His justification was that, as a Roman Catholic, he would face "the worst kind of pain - spiritual pain" if he honoured her request.

He is not alone in his refusal to furnish oral contraceptives. A few weeks ago, this subject was addressed on CBC Radio One's The Current.

I have just one question for the pharmacists who are taking this higher moral ground: What would you have done if Andrea Yates had presented a script for Ortho-Tri-Cycline after the birth of her 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th child?

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Submariner's body on way to Halifax

This is the proper way to honour military members who die in the line of duty.

Rest in peace, Lt. Saunders. Our prayers are with your family.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Sadness in my heart

As of today, our Martha is in prison.

I know that her appeal will be successful, and that she will emerge from this dark winter with even greater strength and grace.

To honour Martha today, I am hanging a lovely pressed pansy montage in the bathroom.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Last desperate measures

State GOP says Michael Moore illegally offered underwear in exchange for voting

So, as is his wont, Michael Moore is using humor to get his point across in the Slacker Uprising Tour. And, as is their wont in these desperate last days of the Bush era, the GOP is getting indignant.


Ripped from the pages of Law and Order

This is painful to even think about. A 31 year old man shot himself last month. He was twice declared brain dead, and his heart, liver, pancreas, and both kidneys were donated.

Now, the act of removing those organs
has been deemed a homicide because the tests administered to declare brain death were not sufficient.

Ya don't say ...

In the grand tradition of McNamara et al, Paul Bremer has
acknowledged that the US didn't send enough troops into Iraq.

Gee, do you think General Eric Shinseki (USA, fired by Rummy retired) might have known what he was talking about?

I wonder how Gen. Shinseki can function on a daily basis, what he takes to stop himself from shaking with rage.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Because there just aren't enough real issues to face ...

Drudge et al really had to go scraping in order to come up with this Pocket-gate crudge. Amazingly enough, Fox News and The New York Post have cleared up the controversy. Their careful frame-by-frame analysis reveals that Senator Kerry was removing a pen from his pocket.

Has Rupert Murdoch seen the light?

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Just erupt already!!

I've been checking the Mount St. Helens VolcanoCam obsessively today. It's a good thing we no longer have a TV or I would have accomplished even less on this lazy Sunday.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Jeeeeeee-Zussssssssssssss again!!!

A cinema in Houston shut down after an eight foot long snake was seen slithering in front of the screen. It is believed to be a Burmese Python, and it has not yet been found. Has anyone asked Harry Potter what he knows about this?