Comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable

Poor Karl Kemp. He owns an antique shop on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, but he fears that he is losing potential customers. The reason? A homeless man has set up camp on the sidewalk grate in front of his store.

Mr. Kemp has called the police, but those pesky police claim that this vagrant actually has the right to be where he wants to be.

So, Mr. Kemp is suing the unnamed homeless man, along with three other persons, for one million dollars.

Imagine the audacity of these people! How dare they be poor? How dare they be cold? How dare they be mentally ill? How dare they fall through the cracks? How dare they remind Mr. Kemp's potential customers that there could be better ways to spend $26,000 than to purchase a 19th-century mahogany Empire bench from Vienna with lion-head details and cream-colored upholstery?

Shame on you, Mr. Kemp.