Wednesday, December 19, 2007

An open letter to the merchandisers at Wal-Mart

I'm onto you guys.

You've tapped into my phone line. It's screamingly obvious.

Whenever I'm offered extra shifts, you pull another cute scrub top out of your arsenal, because you know that I will cave and buy it.

Three weeks ago, it the Tweety Bird (TM) Christmas top, with all those cute sayings like Joy to the World! and Peace on Earth!

Was it a mere coincidence that you placed those tops on the rack the day after the December schedule was posted, with yours truly slated to work the night shift on Christmas Eve?

Two weeks ago, it was the adorable Peanuts (TM) top, with the dancing Snoopy and the fluttering Woodstock. You just had to make it in flattering shades of pink and periwinkle, didn't you?

Tonight - just minutes after I agreed to work a few extra hours this weekend, you dangled the new My Melody top in front of me. So far, I have been able to resist the cousin of Hello Kitty, but you just know I'm going to succumb, don't you?

This isn't about the money, or even the ever-decreasing space in my closet.

No, this is about honesty. You're making a liar out of me, you Wal-Mart evil-doers!

Eons ago, when I was in nursing school, we wore expensive white dresses emblazened with the Queen's logo. Yes, we stuck out like sore thumbs. The "real" nurses usually wore white tops and white pants. The truly daring amongst them struck a pose with .. wait for it .. pastels.

A few years after graduation, I found myself working in a small hospital in South-west Louisiana. My unit's "colours" were teal and coral. I loved those scrubs, to tell the truth. But I did notice that on the days that I wore a white or pastel scrub dress, my patients seemed more comfortable. I think they viewed me as more of a professional when my appearance matched their expectations of what an RN should look like.

Fast forward a decade. I swore up and down that, when I returned to bedside nursing, my professional wardrobe would consist of solids and subtle floral prints. This was easily accomplished at first, because there were next to no scrubs of any description available in this area. I paid exhorbitant shipping costs for some new, pretty but subtle scrub tops and co-ordinating scrub pants. My one concession to the brave new world of nursing in the 21st century was a huge collection of Crocs.

And now that I've hit my nursing stride, I'm drawn to fun, funky scrub tops, and the evil-doers at Wal-Mart are only too happy to feed my addiction.

I promise that, underneath the My Melody scrub top, beats the heart of professional nurse. Pinky swear!


Anonymous said...

I remember a yellow cotton dress, an enveloping white pinny, a starched white collar on the yellow dress
(which gave me a sore neck), and BLACK shoes. As probies, we wore black shoes until we were capped.

Am I giving away my age???

Lori said...

Wal-Mart is great, but there are better places to order from to get the best
Scrub Tops
. You'll have more unique scrubs, and save money too...