Again?!?!?!?!?!?!?

A 48 year old Cincinatti man was strangled by his 4 metre long, pet boa constrictor.

I respect snakes. Around here, there are only garter snakes. My son and I have spent a great deal of time observing these elusive inhabitants of our "back forty." They're actually very pretty, harmless except in self-defense, and incredibly important to the ecosystem. But we don't touch them, and we would never consider taking one out of its habitat and placing it in a glass prison inside our home.

I cannot understand the mentality of someone who would "adopt" a snake, particularly a constrictor. Little Ray's Reptile Zoo in Ottawa is filled to capacity with rescued reptiles - the poor unfortunate creatures who were "adopted" and then abandoned when the reality of owning a large, dangerous animal set in. The delicately balanced ecosystem of the Everglades is being thrown into disarray as a result of a thriving population of Burmese Pythons. No, Burmese Pythons are not native to Florida, but a significant number of former "pets" have been released into the swamp. Having no natural predators in that ecosystem, the population has begun to breed in the wild, and threatens many other species.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?

Whither Zebastian?

Zebastian the Zebra is missing.

No ordinary zebra, Zebastian is brown with black stripes. He disappeared from his pasture in Carrot Creek, Alberta, last week.

The story is strange enough on its own merits, but I have my own special, six degrees of separation spin on it.

I actually know someone who lives in the tiny hamlet of Carrot Creek. A few months ago, an old friend contacted me through Classmates.com. Di-Anne has always lived the life of a gypsy, and at this point on her journey, she finds herself in .. wait for it .. Carrot Creek, AB.

It's a small world after all .. but not so small that one cannot lose a zebra in it.

Look good in a bikini, save the planet?

A Norwegian businessman wants your love handles.

I can't paraphrase this, so I'll just cut and paste and credit the afore-linked article.

Lauri Venøy wants to use the product created from liposuction to develop bio-diesel.

Bio-diesel can be produced from plant oils and/or animal fat, and the Norwegian sees the scheme as a renewable energy source, newspaper Dagens Nærinsgliv reports.

More than sixty percent of Americans are overweight and the Norwegian's firm in Miami, Florida is in the process of signing an agreement with US hospital giant Jackson Memorial. This deal would give Venøy & Co. around 11,500 liters of human fat a week from liposuction operations, which is enough to produce about 10,000 liters of bio-diesel.

Winter emergency preparations are now complete

Power to the people! After six long years of begging petitioning Nestle to make Coffee Crisp available to the people of the United States of America, the folks at CoffeeCrisp.org have achieved success! Coffee Crisp bars are now available at Dollar Tree Stores AND from the vending machine at my husband's office AND from the vending machine at the F.X. Caprara Volkswagen Dealership on Outer Washington Street, Watertown.

AND - Jeff Dem will be pleased to learn that Coffee Crisp bars contain no trans fats.

Manhattan: Same state, different planet

I am bemused to note that the two most popular e-mailed stories from today's New York Times hail from the Fashion & Style section. I had read both pieces earlier today, and have been mentally composing blog entries about them all day. In regards to the first article, Woman's Best Friend, or Fashion Accessory? I must ask, what would Cesar Millan say about these toy dogs who are toted around Manhattan in designer purses, dressed in the same haute couture as their humans? Evidently, Cesar's opinion was not solicited, but other trainers "point out that pets are not accessories, and treating them like prize possessions, no matter how well meaning, can deprive an animal of what it needs. 'Socialization, training and exercise are paramount,' said Bash Dibra, a trainer based in New York. 'Otherwise you have a problem.' An overly coddled dog can become territorial and aggressive, Mr. Dibra said. 'Sometimes the dog goes into a rage. It’s not a happy situation.' ”

The second article is about fashion victims - literally! It seems that Manhattan's doctors, chiropractors and massage therapists are working overtime, dealing with back and shoulder injuries caused by the ubiquitous oversized handbags that the fashionistas insist upon toting. While chiropractic adjustments and deep tissue massage seems to temporarily alleviate the pain, the brain damage caused by these gaudy and overpriced satchels appears to be permanent. One massage therapist says that she doesn't bother to advise her clients to stop trying to tote the kitchen sink all over TriBeCa. “It’s like telling a woman, ‘You cannot wear Manolo Blahniks,’ ” she said. “It’s just not realistic.”

Huh? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. One woman even boasts that she has had MRI's and cortisone shots to offset the physical damage caused by her oversized Chanel Tote.

I apologize for the clunkiness of this post. I'm having difficulty because I just don't understand these women. It's hard to believe that Manhattan is only a few hours away from here. It sounds like it's a whole other planet.

Should I be worried?

I see that my blog has had a visitor from the US House of Representatives. Welcome, welcome! Would you like a cup of tea? A cranberry muffin, perhaps? I'm afraid that this humble hausfrau can offer nothing else of great interest or import. So, get back to work, civil servant!

It's, like, hard to be a Congress Critter ..

.. especially now that the work week will stretch out to nearly five days!

Poor, poor Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga) was accustomed to flying into DC on Tuesdays, and going back home on Thursdays. Now, he'll have to be in DC by 18:30 on Mondays, and will have to keep working right up until 14:00 on Friday afternoons. He laments that "keeping us here eats away at families. Marriages suffer. The Democrats don't care about families -- that's what this says."

Mr. Kingston, I double-dog-dare you to visit a military community and whine to us about professional duties eating into your family time. For bonus points, go ahead and try out your whiny rant at Fort Wainwright, home of the 172nd Stryker Brigade, who is only now returning from sixteen months, boots on the ground in Iraq.

If Fairbanks, Alaska, is a little too far for you to travel, may I suggest a quick jaunt up Georgia Avenue NW to Walter Reed Army Medical Center? Take a look around, if you can stand it. Then get your priorities in order, and get back to work.

Kickin' it, homeschool style

What homeschoolers do on a snow day, while everyone else is waiting for superintendents to decide between a two hour delay and cancellation of classes in accordance with the "no unnecessary travel" advisory from the sheriff's department.

The joys of simplicity

If you know me in real life, you may be shocked to learn that sometimes I make things more complicated than they need to be.

Case in point: salt. Basic, elemental sodium chloride.

Last Christmas, my sister-in-law gave me a lovely gift pack of various exotic sea salt crystals. It has remained intact and unused for 11 months because I didn't have a salt grinder and couldn't find one that met my standards of form, function and frugality. Not even at IKEA.

Tonight, it finally occured to me that I could simply place a small amount of sea salt on my cutting board and crush it with my rolling pin. Don't worry. I've already smacked my forehead repeatedly.

I combined some Brazilian Sea Salt with a touch of Rosemary Garlic Seasoning and sprinkled it on lamb chops*, which were drizzled with olive oil and then baked at 400F for about 10 minutes.**
My son, who until recently was a very light eater, devoured this dish. He paused only to rub his belly and say "MMMMMM!"

La Vita è bella.

*locally raised and absolutely delicious!

**Don't quote me on that, always use a meat thermometer and not the timer to assess the doneness of your food.

Childhood dream

When I was younger, I used to spend hours looking at National Geographic. I harboured a secret fantasy of becoming a wildlife photographer.

While the Thompson Park Zoo isn't an exotic or challenging locale, it does offer a great opportunity for me to live out my nature stalkarazzi fantasy.



Barred owl, 29 November 2006

Feline behaviour

One of the things I love about house cats is their strong connection to the larger feline species. They do many of the same things that the big cats do,





like cuddling together between bouts of playfighting,





and tucking their paws under their chests when feeling relaxed.

Insert exasperated sigh and eyerolling here

Hello again, my new internet friends. It looks like there's a bit of a discussion brewing in the comments section of my "Peace On Earth" posting. For some reason, the new blogger beta application won't allow me to remove the comments which I find objectionable. So let me say this: Nazi references and snarky arguments are not welcome here. If you want to indulge in that kind of rhetoric, get your own blog.

To "anonymous" who snarked: Ok. It doesn't offend you. That settles the argument. You are representative of all soldiers' wives, my response is this: I have never claimed to represent any point of view beyond my own. That's why I write in the first person, singular.

We now return to our regularly scheduled pet and photoblogging.

Holy Blog Traffic Jam, Batman!

Greetings to all of my new internet friends, who found my blog via a google search for Bob Kearns/Linda Jensen/Pagosa Springs or some variant thereof. Judging from the twenty-fold spike in visitors to my humble abode on the internets yesterday, I think it's safe to say that Mr. Bob Kearns really stepped in it made an error in judgment.

All is well, though. The Homeowner's Association changed its mind yesterday. The wreath can stay, and the fines have been cancelled.

While I have your attention, I'd like to point out that our soldiers are still being killed and seriously injured on a daily basis in Iraq. Thanks to improved body armour, many soldiers are surviving attacks which would have been deadly in years gone by. But the road to recovery is long and painful. Please consider making a donation to the Fisher House program, which provides a home away from home for the families of the wounded.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Peace on earth, goodwill towards men ..

.. but not for the people who live in a 200-home subdivision in Colorado.

Linda Jensen hung a Christmas wreath with a peace symbol on her door. A few other homeowners in the subdivision complained, including some whose children are serving in Iraq. The president of the homeowner's association, Bob Kearns, ordered the Architectural Control Committee to require Ms. Jensen to remove the wreath. All five members of the committee refused. Mr. Kearns fired them. Ho ho ho, y'all.

As you know, my husband has served in Iraq. Ms. Jensen says she wasn't thinking about the war when she hung the wreath. Even if she was making a political statement with her wreath, I wouldn't take offense. I'd be grateful that someone in America diverted their attention away from American Idol and Britney Spears and Michael Richards' ridiculous rants and the lunacy of Black Friday sales long enough to notice that thousands of American military families and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi families are suffering with no end in sight.

So, Mr. Bob Kearns of Pagosa Springs, Colorado, this is for you:



Edited to add: I'm on the same page as Wil Wheaton. I'm in good company.

A post which proves that I am a perfectly rational and sane dog person

Several months ago, I found myself in a bit of a culinary quandry. I had taken too many packages of ground beef out of the freezer, and needed to use up an extra pound of ground round. A vague idea of homemade dog food floated across my mind, so I cooked up the beef with some brown rice and grated carrots. Lady Chocolate was quite enthusiastic about my little experiment. I discovered that it really wasn't much more expensive than the tinned food I had been feeding her. It was much less hassle to cook up some food for her than to open the tin, mess up a series of spatulas scraping the gelatinous blobs of mystery meat onto her dish, cleaning the cans, and hauling them off to the recycling depot. Further reading into how commercial dog food is made sealed the deal for us.

Friends and family are somewhat bemused by, but generally accepting of, this culinary canine eccentricity of mine. The vet raised an eyebrow upon hearing of this dietary change, then pronounced Chocolate to be a lucky dog. The ultimate proof of the pudding is the health and happiness of our beloved mutt. And I confess, I feel a little smug in that Martha-Stewart kind of way when I tell people about the canine cuisine served at our home.

Tonight, I am a little less smug. I was searching for a recipe for Spaghetti alla Carbonara when I happened upon this recipe for Canine Carbonara. Once I clarified that this was a dish intended for dogs, I was fascinated. I was also knocked down a peg or two. Not only has someone created a plethora of delicious-sounding dishes for dogs, they've taken the time to compile these recipes in great website.

I just hope my dog doesn't read this.

Spoiled rotten!!!!

In my next life, I want to come back as one of my pets.

That's not a camera angle trick - Gandalf, the cat, is huge. When stretched out like that, he's over 3 feet long.

Gomen nasai*

I'm starting to freak myself out a little bit here.

A couple of weeks ago, I took my son on a homeschooling field trip to Ottawa and Smiths Falls. We visited the Canadian Museum of Science and Technology, the Canadian Museum of Nature, and the Hershey Chocolate Factory. Last week, the Hershey Factory had to shut down and recall several of its products after a salmonella scare. I swear, we didn't touch anything!

This week, our homeschooling focus is Japan. We are studying Japan's history, culture, language, and geography. You can see where I'm going with this. No sooner did we explore Japan's vulnerability to earthquakes and tsunamis, did a 7.8 magnitude earthquake strike the Kuril islands, sending a small tsunami towards Hokkaido.

I think we'll return our focus to the three R's for now!

*Japanese for "I am sorry."

My little chickadee

'tis the last rose of summer

Thompson Park Zoo, 13 November 2006

To all the winos Oenophiles out there

I know you already recycle your wine bottles, but did you know that you can recycle the corks, too?

In other wine news, it appears that large doses of red wine extract kept obese mice healthy and flexible.

Cheers!