Sunday, November 20, 2005

Gobbledigook

Please forgive the recent silence. It's not that there hasn't been anything interesting going on (cough cough Dems growing a backbone, GOP pulling childish pranks) but I haven't found much about which to blog. But lo! And behold! I found this story in the Christian Science Monitor. Dover, MA is in the midst of a turkey war, and it has nothing to do with Ottomans. Or chesterfields for that matter.*

Here's the scoop:

As in many suburbs nationwide, where McMansions meet nature, a wild turkey war is simmering here. Some neighbors are not on speaking terms, torn by turkey pros and cons. Backpack-laden kindergartners struggle to catch school buses before territorial gobblers catch them; churchgoers, post-office patrons, and brawny construction workers are routinely held hostage in their cars by scolding toms; unsuspecting joggers are followed by trotting turkey shadows reminiscent of Jurassic Park raptors; rush-hour traffic can be stalled by bumper- pecking broods. More than once here on Centre Street, residents say, the state environmental authorities have deployed camouflaged SWAT teams that act a lot like FBI sting operations: Officers hide behind trees with net guns, hoping to subdue their suspects without igniting an animal rights backlash. (The ubiquitous turkeys never seem to show up on those days.)

When we moved to the Fort Drum area 8 years ago, I was fascinated by the wild turkeys who strutted around the fields. Mostly, I wondered what they tasted like. My curiosity remains unquenched because Gandalf ignores me when I instruct him to bring me a wild tom, and thinks he's fooling me by leaving field mice on the doorstep. But I digress.

In this particular suburb of Boston, wild turkeys have become a menace. Around these parts, I can't even get close enough to snap a decent picture.

*I've been a little scatterbrained of late (shut up James) hence the dearth of blog entries. For example, it took me a full week of listening to "One Little Slip" from the Chicken Little soundtrack to realize that the witty lyrics and perfectly arranged music were courtesy of Barenaked Ladies - which is only my most favourite band ever.

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